Last week, I lost my youngest brother, Gary. For the past two years his health had steadily declined. His heart problems continued to worsen until finally, on April 14th, he told the doctors and his family he’d had enough. He was tired of the pain, the medications, and the machines keeping him alive. The next afternoon, he passed away.
Grief has a way of settling into places we didn’t expect.
Some losses hit harder because of the closeness of the relationship. My brother Don and my sister Leta seemed to struggle deeply with Gary’s passing. They were closer to him in age, and perhaps that closeness carried memories and bonds the rest of us did not fully share in the same way. Loss touches every member of a family differently.
After Gary died, I found myself wanting to do more than send flowers or offer condolences. His property had become overgrown with weeds, so I rented a zero-turn mower and spent hours trying to help clean things up for the family. I almost finished before a tire blew out on the mower.
It wasn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but grief often makes us search for something meaningful to do.
“Sometimes love grieves with tears. Other times it grieves with work-worn hands.”
One of the hardest parts of losing someone we love is learning how to carry the memories without being crushed by them. Good memories can hurt just as much as painful ones. A familiar song, an old photograph, or an empty chair can suddenly reopen wounds we thought were beginning to heal.
Grief is deeply personal. There is no timetable that works for everyone. Some people cry openly. Others grow quiet. Some need to talk constantly about their loved one, while others process loss silently. None of these responses are automatically wrong.
Researchers and counselors often describe grief in stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages were first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross as a way of helping people understand the emotional turbulence that often follows deep loss.
If you would like to read more about the commonly recognized stages of grief and how they affect people differently, these articles may help:
- Harvard Health — “5 Stages of Grief: Coping With the Loss of a Loved One”
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/5-stages-of-grief-coping-with-the-loss-of-a-loved-one - HelpGuide — “Coping With Grief and Loss”
https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss
But grief is rarely neat and orderly
sasha Perez
You may feel acceptance one day and anger the next. You may feel numb for weeks and then suddenly break down without warning. Grief moves more like waves than steps.
Practical Ways to Navigate Grief
When grief feels overwhelming, simple daily steps can help steady both your heart and mind.
- Allow yourself to grieve honestly.
Don’t suppress every tear or emotion. Sadness, confusion, anger, and exhaustion are all common responses to loss. - Stay connected to people who care about you.
Isolation often deepens grief. Even quiet companionship can bring comfort. - Maintain basic daily routines.
Eating healthy meals, getting rest, and staying physically active can help stabilize emotional stress. - Give yourself permission to remember.
Looking through photographs, telling stories, or honoring your loved one’s memory can be healing. - Be patient with yourself.
Healing does not happen on a schedule. Some days will feel heavier than others.
“Healing from grief is not forgetting. It is learning how to carry love and loss together.”
“Grief does not travel in a straight line. It rises and falls like the tide.”
One of the greatest dangers during grief is isolation. When pain runs deep, many people pull away from others. Yet healing often begins when we allow trusted friends, family members, pastors, or counselors to walk beside us.
Scripture reminds us in Galatians 6:2:
“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”
Sometimes bearing burdens simply means sitting quietly beside someone who is hurting.
Healthy grieving also requires caring for ourselves physically and emotionally. Loss can affect sleep, appetite, concentration, and even physical health. Experts encourage grieving people to maintain healthy routines as much as possible—rest, proper meals, exercise, prayer, and connection with others can all help steady the soul during difficult seasons.
It is also important to understand that seeking help is not weakness.
Signs You May Need Additional Support
Sometimes grief becomes so heavy that extra help is needed. Reaching out is not failure—it is wisdom.
Consider speaking with a pastor, counselor, doctor, or grief support group if:
- you feel emotionally overwhelmed for long periods of time
- you are unable to function in daily life
- sleep problems or anxiety become severe
- you begin withdrawing completely from others
- feelings of hopelessness continue to deepen
- you struggle with thoughts of self-harm or despair
Helpful resources:
- American Psychological Association — Grief and Loss
https://www.apa.org/topics/families/grief - GriefShare Support Groups
https://www.griefshare.org - National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — Call or Text 988
“Seeking help during grief is not a sign of weak faith. Sometimes healing requires others to help carry the burden.”
There are times when grief becomes overwhelming and begins to consume daily life for months or even years. In those moments, talking with a trusted counselor, pastor, or mental health professional may be necessary and wise.
“God never intended for us to carry overwhelming sorrow completely alone.”
For believers, grief carries another dimension: hope.
That hope does not erase pain. Jesus Himself wept at the tomb of Lazarus. But faith reminds us that death is not the final word for those who belong to Christ.
First Thessalonians 4:13 says:
“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.“
Christians still grieve. We still cry. We still ache when someone we love is gone. But we grieve with the confidence that one day death itself will be defeated.
As I think about my brother Gary, I realize grief is not something we “get over” quickly. Instead, we slowly learn how to carry both the loss and the love together.
And perhaps that is part of healing.
The memories may still hurt sometimes, but eventually they also remind us how blessed we were to have loved someone deeply enough to miss them when they are gone.
“The depth of grief often reveals the depth of love.”
Final Thoughts
If you are walking through grief right now, give yourself grace.
Do not rush the process. Do not believe you must always appear strong. Allow yourself to mourn. Reach out to people who care about you. Pray honestly. Rest when you need to rest.
And remember this:
Even in grief, you are not abandoned.
God walks with us through valleys we never wanted to enter.
Stay Connected
Life brings seasons of joy, but it also brings seasons of sorrow. In difficult moments, we need faith, encouragement, and the support of others more than ever.
In the coming weeks, we’ll continue exploring topics that strengthen faith, family, emotional healing, and spiritual endurance in a broken world.
If this blog encouraged you, please share it with someone who may be struggling with grief or loss.
Sometimes a few words of encouragement can remind a hurting person they are not alone.
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