“Our goal isn’t to raise children who can repeat our beliefs, but children who can discern truth when we’re not in the room.”
One afternoon, my son Daniel came home from middle school visibly shaken.
Not angry.
Not rebellious.
Disturbed.
His school had a written policy stating that foul language and intolerance would not be accepted. Yet day after day, the language went unchecked. When my wife and I finally went to the principal to report what he was hearing, the response stunned us—the rules would not be enforced.
Instead of protecting students, the system failed them.
“A rule that isn’t enforced doesn’t disappear—it teaches.”
Worse still, Daniel became the brunt of that failure, mocked for caring about standards no one intended to uphold.
After several unsuccessful attempts to address the issue with school leadership, Daniel came to me with a serious question:
“Dad… could I be homeschooled?”
That question set us on a journey I never expected—but one that reshaped how I understand education, faith, and preparation.
When Good Systems Fail Good Kids
Like many parents, I didn’t rush the decision. We first enrolled Daniel and his close friend Scott in a well-known Christian school. On paper, it looked like the answer.
In practice, the same inconsistencies surfaced.
Rules were enforced selectively. Students connected to athletics and the sponsoring church seemed to receive preferential treatment. For Daniel, it felt like a repeat of what he had already endured.
“Christian labels don’t automatically produce Christian character—or consistency.”
By the end of that first uneasy year, I knew we needed a different approach. When Scott’s mother asked if Scott could join us, we stepped into homeschooling together.
What followed surprised all of us.
Education That Forms the Whole Person
Homeschooling didn’t just shield the boys from harmful influences—it sharpened them.
They didn’t merely learn what to think.
They learned how to think.
One class still stands out to me: geography.
Instead of worksheets, I handed them BLM maps, Forest Service maps, and unit maps of the areas we planned to hunt that fall. Their assignment wasn’t theoretical.
- Find a promising area
- Identify access points
- Calculate elevation
- Select a viable campsite
The boys poured over those maps with enthusiasm—debating routes, circling locations, defending their reasoning. When they presented their final choice, I pushed them further: terrain challenges, road access, backup plans.
That fall, the lessons paid off.
I limited out. Harvesting a large doe with my new Stevens 7mm Remington—and I took my first elk. Plus my eldest son harvested a buck.
“Real learning sticks when it demands responsibility, reasoning, and real-world application.”
More importantly, two young men learned that discernment, preparation, and responsibility bear fruit—lessons they carried into adulthood.
So How Do We Fight Secular Ideas Our Kids Are Learning?
The answer isn’t panic.
It isn’t isolation.
And it certainly isn’t silence.
A balanced approach combines critical thinking, open dialogue, and steady guidance.
According to Stand to Reason, one of the most effective tools parents have isn’t argument—it’s questions. (How Can I Fight the Secular Ideas My Children Learn?)
Helpful questions include:
- What evidence supports this idea?
- What assumptions are being made?
- How does this align—or conflict—with our faith and values?
“Questions train discernment; lectures often train resistance.”
When children are taught to ask good questions, they gain confidence instead of confusion.
Practical Ways to Equip Your Kids
Here are several principles that proved effective in our home—and later in classrooms I helped build:
- Discuss ideas without panic or labels.
Rather than declaring ideas “bad,” guide your children through thoughtful evaluation. This mirrors the approach recommended by the Colson Center in Raising Kids in a Secular Age
👉 https://colsoncenter.org/breakpoint/raising-kids-in-a-secular-age - Create consistent faith-anchored routines.
Daily conversations—at the dinner table, during car rides, or after church—help children build a coherent worldview rather than reacting piece by piece. - Teach media literacy as a skill, not a battleground.
As Breakpoint explains, discernment is formed when kids learn to identify values being promoted and ideas being assumed
👉 https://breakpoint.org/raising-kids-in-a-secular-age/ - Acknowledge uncertainty when it exists.
Saying, “Let’s look into this together,” builds trust and models humility.
“We don’t lose authority by admitting we don’t know everything—we gain credibility.”
Jonathan Noyes of Stand to Reason emphasizes listening first, asking open-ended questions, and guiding selectively rather than correcting constantly. His approach reinforces a critical truth:
“We’re not just teaching our kids what to think—we’re teaching them how to think when we’re not there.”
The Real Goal
Our children will encounter competing worldviews. That part is unavoidable.
The real question is this:
“Will they face those ideas alone—or with preparation?”
As Faithful Fable notes, secular environments don’t have to weaken faith. With intentional guidance, they can actually strengthen discernment.👉 https://faithfulfable.com/raising-faithful-children-in-a-secular-school/
The goal isn’t merely protection.
It’s preparation.
“Like a successful hunt, the outcome is decided long before the moment of truth.”
When we teach our children to think critically, ground their identity in Christ, and engage the world with wisdom and grace, even secular settings can become refining instead of destructive.
Recommended Resources
- Stand to Reason – How Can I Fight the Secular Ideas My Children Learn from School and Media?
https://www.str.org/w/how-can-i-fight-the-secular-ideas-my-children-learn-from-school-and-media- - Breakpoint / Colson Center – Raising Kids in a Secular Age
https://breakpoint.org/raising-kids-in-a-secular-age/
https://colsoncenter.org/breakpoint/raising-kids-in-a-secular-age - Faithful Fable – Raising Faithful Children in a Secular School Environment
https://faithfulfable.com/raising-faithful-children-in-a-secular-school/
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Christmas gives us many moments worth remembering. If this post resonated with you, you’ll find more reflections and family stories in the rest of my Christmas blogs this month, then leave a comment.
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