My early life was shaped by many bad examples.
(Read past blogs on this subject: https://ronmcelfreshwriter.com/blog/)
Both Mom and Dad passed on a mix of good and bad traits. Mom could be manipulative, negative, and often held on to emotional wounds. Dad had a fiery temper, was a womanizer, and loved to tell tall tales. Some of my uncles hunted unethically—bragging about it in front of us boys. Other relatives didn’t think twice about cheating or stealing.
Naturally, some of those traits seeped into my own moral compass. Even after becoming a Believer, I struggled with the lingering effects of that early influence.
Transforming Yourself
We all look up to people who inspire us—those who walk with integrity, model love, and live with purpose. But truthfully, we can also grow by observing what not to do. Bad examples can teach just as powerfully—if we’re willing to learn.
As I often told my children, “Know your strengths, and learn from your weaknesses.”
Here are a few things that helped me on my journey:
• Turn a negative habit into a strength.
For years, I battled with anger—something I picked up from my dad. Prayer helped, but real change began when I forgave my past and learned to love myself. That love—both for myself and for others—became the strength that softened my outbursts.
• Use positive affirmations to reframe your thinking.
Many of my bad habits didn’t shift until I wrote down affirmations that replaced the old, toxic messages.
• Reinforce those affirmations with Scripture.
God’s Word is a powerful two-edged sword, capable of renewing the mind and healing the heart.
• Don’t be afraid to seek help. If you’re on a downward spiral and struggling to change, reach out for professional or spiritual guidance. You’re not alone.
Here’s a personal story from the preface of my upcoming book Hunting Trials and Trail (not yet in print) that shows how my hunting buddies—and the Holy Spirit—taught me to change:
Me? I’m about ninety-five percent choleric with a touch of sanguine—that’s the sugar that tempers the hard-driving, ‘let’s get it done now’ nature in me. I enjoy fun, but only if it’s well-organized. Add in three other guys with similar personalities, and you’ve got a recipe for tension. Early on, if someone didn’t follow the plan, I reacted harshly. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit never stopped working on me. I’d hear His gentle rebuke: ‘Ron, you didn’t handle that right. Why did you get mad? These are men—not animals. Treat them with respect. Apologize. Then work with them on how to improve things.’ Ouch. That stung. But I changed—slowly. I became more mellow. I’m still a work in progress.
(Read more about personalities here: https://thepersonalities.com/)
We are all shaped by our past, our families, and life’s experiences—both good and bad. The key is how we respond. I’ve taught my kids and grandkids: focus on the good in your life, learn from the bad, and commit to growing stronger because of it.
If you’d like a different perspective on this topic, check out this helpful post:
(http://meanttobehappy.com/the-power-of-bad-examples/)
Final Thoughts
None of us had perfect role models. We’ve all been influenced—for better or worse—by parents, relatives, teachers, and friends. The question is: will we let the bad examples define us, or will we rise above them?
History is filled with people who came from brokenness but chose to become something greater. So can you.
Take positive steps today. Become the example your children, grandchildren, and even strangers can look up to. You never know who’s watching—or who’s looking for hope.
Let the Word of God direct your steps.
As Proverbs 3:6 reminds us:
“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Let’s Keep in Touch
If this story spoke to you, I invite you to join my community.
My first newsletter, Whispers On The Wind, is posted here: (https://ronmcelfreshwriter.com/733-2/)
Here’s what you’ll find:
• Real-life reflections on overcoming abuse
• More Jeep & wilderness adventures
• Honest conversations about:
o A child identifying as homosexual
o Dealing with rebellious children
o When a child walks away from the family
👉 Sign up here to receive it—and get early access to my upcoming blog post:
(https://ronmcelfreshwriter.com/733-2/)
Follow Along
📘 Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573398000184)
🐦 Twitter / X: @RMack12
If this post helped you, click FOLLOW ME and share it with someone you care about.
Grace and peace to you throughout 2025.
In His Service,
Ron